Pregnancy Journal, Number Two - 16/17 Weeks Pregnant ...

Dear Baby G,
At 16 weeks pregnant, we had our second midwife appointment.
Our lovely midwife that we had with Isla, retired this year to work part time in another area of the city. We had her for our very first appointment, but this time when we arrived at the doctors, we had another midwife. This one, ran perfectly on time, but wasn’t exactly the friendliest of midwives. We tried being friendly with her, asking her a few questions etc but she didn’t really want to play ball! We asked whether she was going to be our midwife from now on, and basically said that the rota for Sarah’s replacement hadn’t been decided, so we would have whoever could make our next appointment! Great – no contingency of care this time! Sarah had said that she would have us in for more appointments than the ‘traditional’ second pregnancy rota calls for, but this midwife has said we aren’t wanted back until I’m 28 weeks pregnant – the 12th February! It seems like such a long time to wait!
But, the most important thing from this appointment is that all was well! All my bloods came back fine – iron/thyroxine etc – my wee showed no signs of ketones etc, and my blood pressure was 120/80. She asked if we wanted to hear the heartbeat (of course!) but I know from Isla that it’s not always easy to find at 16 weeks. I like to reassure myself if she can’t find it I think! I did tell her I was desperate for the toilet, but she told me we would look for the heartbeat first as a full bladder makes it easier. She started looking really low down for the heartbeat, and couldn’t find anything to begin with. There was a loud, bang like noise, which she said was a kick, but she couldn’t locate the heartbeat. Then she tried looking further up and found it straight away! As clear as a button! And beating away at 150 or so BPM. That sound will never get old. It’s truly magical.
After we left the midwife, Isla was with the Grandparents, so we treated ourselves to a little (soft) drink at The Trafford – exactly like we did with Isla’s pregnancy! It was nice to have a little moment just us two (and Pauly B!)
The weekend following our midwife appointment, we went out in the city and I had to succumb and get myself some maternity leggings! I’ve been trying jeans on, but I CANNOT find any maternity jeans that I like. At all. They are either far too big round the bump, or far too tight round the bum! Luckily, because I’ve lost so much weight in the last few years, I have a couple of older jeans that are on the bigger side that I can wear as my ‘maternity’ jeans. I’ve also been using the old trick of tying a strong hair band through my button hole on my skinny jeans, which is giving me a few more weeks extra room! I didn’t think I was showing that much, but it appears that in the last few weeks I have POPPED! (I think again, because I’m so much smaller than I was when I found out I was expecting Isla, that what bump I do have is more obvious.) So, I bought myself some leggings and some lovely big oversized jumpers in some gorgeous autumn colours that I think will be my wardrobe staple for now! It’s all about the comfort!
It’s exciting now I’m starting to show (although I do still feel like I look fat rather that pregnant though!) and I think I’m starting to get a few very subtle flutters. We’re getting very excited to meet you already!
Here is my 17 week bump … (Excuse the at work selfie in the fluorescent lighting!)

My friend Sarah had her little boy on Friday, all 7lb 3oz of absolute cuteness! William Patrick will be about 5/6 months older than you, exactly the same age gap between your big sister and his big sister! It made it VERY real to me going to see him. Isla and Maddie suddenly looked so very big and grown up, and William felt so small! (Only 2oz smaller than Isla was!)

I can't wait to hold my newest bundle of joy ... !!!
We have our 20 week scan on the 15th December and we are so excited. We are definitely still not going to find out what you are, no matter how tempted I am!
Stay safe in there Baby G.


Pregnancy Journal, Number Two - Dear Baby G ...

Dear Baby G,

Oh dear sweet little baby. The first few weeks of your existence haven't been quite as smooth sailing as your big sisters. We weren't expecting you to come along, and when we found out you were, it came at a time when we had lots of other stuff going on. It was your sisters first birthday, we had just brought our house, I had started a new job and your Grandad was desperately ill in hospital. I was worried about you because of all the stress I'd been under, and I didn't almost want to get my hopes up thinking about you if you weren't going to be ok! Especially after we lost your Grandad and I started to grieve. Going to my Dad's funeral at 10 weeks pregnant was hard.

I am so grateful we found out about you when we did though ... We were able to tell Grandad about you, and we even managed to put your first scan picture from the day before his funeral in the coffin with him. We thought he'd like to meet you, and we thought that your picture would keep him company. 

Here you are the first ever time we met you, at 11 weeks and 1 day ... 
My beautiful little baby ... You needed to be about 12 weeks old and 45mm big for them to do all the tests and measurements they needed to but because we were about a week out on our calculations, you only measured 44.8mm - so not quite big enough! So they sent us away to return in another two weeks for the more detailed measurements. But, they did tell us that we had a baby with a good strong heart beat in there ... : )

Unbeknown to me, your Grandad had kept a copy of your big sisters scan picture in pride of place in his office. I only saw this after he had died but it meant the world to me. So when I knew that we were going to get the chance to get a picture of you before his funeral, I knew that if possible, we had to get a copy over to him. Luckily, timing worked out in our favour, and after our scan, when I went to hang the pictures at his wake, your Daddy took your very first picture over to the funeral directors and placed you in the coffin with Grandad. I hope that one day you will realise how incredibly special that in your own little way, you were able to meet your Grandad. He would have loved you so very, very much. He does love you so very, very much.

Two weeks later we went back for our second scan. This time, you had grown big enough but you were being a stubborn little monkey, and you wouldn't move into a suitable position for the scan to read all your measurements. Eventually after emptying my bladder, having a bit of a jump and poke around, the sonographer got all the measurements she needed. It was incredible seeing you again - you were such an incredible fidget! You didn't keep still! And the weirdest thing, we watched you drinking!! You were obviously very thirsty, and we could see you gulping away! So very strange! You are officially due on the 2nd May - a lovely due date!
Once everything came back well from the scan, I felt like I could start to relax and really enjoy being pregnant again. A day or so after our scan I made the decision to tell work ... I was so very nervous but luckily, their reaction was brilliant. They said 'it is what it is' and that it doesn't need to be a problem, and congratulations! I was so very concerned about what they would say, so I am very grateful that their reaction was as good as it was. 

The past few weeks have been really odd, and my mind had been so consumed with so very many things. But I am incredibly blessed to be carrying you and doing all that I can to bring you happy and healthily into this world. I can't wait to start to feel you moving, to hear your heartbeat, to see you again on our next scan, and I really cannot wait to meet you.

Stay safe in there my little darling.



My Dad ...

During the last week of my Dad's life, we had some of the most incredible times with him we had ever had. It makes me incredibly sad to go through these, but I know how much I want to remember these in the future.
There just little snippets of time ... things that mean nothing to anyone else and are completely out of context, but they mean the world to me ...

I haven't always been there for all of you, all of the time ...

I make a habit of forgetting birthdays ... Sam's 30th & Libby's 21st... It's ok! We're not worried about that! 

You don't have to hang on for anything ...

If you want it, we don't want you to, but you have our permission to go. 

Dad, did you hear him? He called you Dad! He did it all of his own accord. I didn't tell him what we talked about. He called you Dad! 

Thank-you for being the best Dad. We couldn't have asked for anything more. 

Do you know how much I love you? I think so, no, I know how much. 

I'm sorry Dad. If I could do it for you I would ... Don't be silly, with all your potential. You have children to raise, people to bring up. It's important. 

Touch Your Heart, Beth Nielson Chapman

I Love Rock & Roll, Joan Jette - (singing and head banging in his bed)

Take It Easy, The Eagles 

Sexy Eyes, Dr Hook 

Would you hold it against me if I told you you had a beautiful body? Careful, that's my daughter! 

Reaching up to touch my nose with one finger, staring into my eyes. 

Grabbing Josephine's hand, pulling up to mouth to kiss, I love you lots! I love you lots too darling! 

I'm just popping out for a bit, anything I can bring with me? I think I'm ok ... A miracle. Oh dad, if I could bring that back with me, I would. 

Touch Your Heart, Beth Nielson Chapman
I Love Rock & Roll, Joan Jette - (singing and head banging in his bed)
Take It Easy, The Eagles 
Sexy Eyes, Dr Hook